Every girl wants her man to whisper sweet nothings. To say those things we all love hearing. The things he used to say spontaneously - way back when.
I've been married 27 years and over that time, I've figured out how to get my husband to tell me exactly what I want to hear. And here it is…
I ask him!!!!
Yup, that's right! I straight out ask him to say what I want to hear. Never mind ask him! Half the time I simply tell him!
"Who's your favourite girl?"
-Shonna Peeler! (He always uses my maiden name on this one).
"Tell me how much you love me."
"Wow! It's really high today!"
"What's that out of?"
"Tell me nice things."
-What kind of nice things?
"Tell me you love me."
-I love you…
"I love you too. More nice things."
-You're a good Mom...
-Candles. (He threw that one in one mid-Winter day, when I had about 15 candles burning all around the house. Candles are definitely "nice things!")
Call me crazy, but when I tell him what to tell me, it doesn't feel any less sincere than if he had said the same things spontaneously, unbidden. He smirks, eyes twinkling as he comes up with the number for how much he loves me that day. Because the thing is, I know he loves me, thinks I'm pretty, that I'm his favourite girl, it's just not in men's natures (at least not in my man's), to wax poetic at the end of a long work day, or in the midst of Saturday chores, and frankly I don't want to wait for the occasional romantic dinner or luxurious vacation to hear it! So I just ask!
These are flirtatious interactions, that invite intimacy into an everyday moment. They remind him, he's my boyfriend and I'm his lover, and we don't have to be in bed or Bermuda to enjoy that knowledge. They're a verbal smack on the back side, or peck on the cheek. They're playful, the little things, we women so often accuse men of forgetting. And that's exactly the point! They do forget! I realized this several years back, when I told him, I didn't feel he was being affectionate enough with me. His response was, "You know I think the world of you, and that I find you very attractive." Me, "Ya, I know. And you act like it, I'm not complaining about that, but I want to hear it." Him, "Ya, I know, I'm bad about saying it."
And there it was, of course I knew he loved me, desired me, treasured me, but I wanted to hear it. And he was more than willing to tell me, it just simply didn't come to his mind to tell me, as often as I needed to hear it. So that's when I just started asking!!
"So…. How do you feel about me today???"
-I love you!
"Do you think I look pretty?"
-I think you look gorgeous!
That's it. Done. No pouting that he hasn't noticed me in a while. I ask, he answers, we kiss, the end.
**If you have a cute image that would be great for this post, please feel free to send it to me through the "contact" button! I'm picturally challenged, but love having nice images on my posts! (Non-copy writed images only please).