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A blog to support, encourage, and mentor at home moms in all aspects of home making and family life.

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Monday
Nov292010

Follow Through. Realistic expectations of little ones.

Miranda!  What a fantastic question!  Follow through is so important through every phase of parenting!  Let's start off by talking about following through with little ones, namely preschoolers and under.

The reason follow through is so important is it lets your children know you're in charge and gives them a sense of security through routine and consistent expectations.  Follow through is made up of many parts, but today I want to talk about realistic expectations.

If you set a rule that your child needs to always put their toys away before dinner, and everyday at 4:30, you tell him you'll be in to help him clean up in five minutes, then come into his toy room, all happy and chatty, visiting with him while you help him tidy up, and telling him what a good job he did when he's finished.

It's a realistic expectation your child will think of in a positive manner and will just come to expect it as part of his daily routine.
 But!  

If you set a rule that your child needs to always put his toys put away before dinner, and five minutes before you're ready to sit down to the table call to him in a frustrated tone that "Those toys had better be put away!"  You're little one is going to panic! He'll probably start crying, and if he's able to do what you've asked at all, he'll certainly do it poorly and come to hate the idea of tidying up!  Avoiding it at all costs!  Forcing you to nag, harp, threaten, etc.

Small children almost always need help with their tasks.
They need plenty of time to complete them.  They need really clear, really specific, instructions on exactly what you require from them.

 
They can't remember a "to do list", give them one task at a time and let them finish it.  And they need to be given a patient and understanding environment to learn what you want from them. 


If you're having trouble following through on what you've required of your child (aka, having to tell you're child to do something 10 times before they do it), maybe you're just asking too much of them. 

Ask yourself, if he's really capable of doing this, at this age.  If so, then preserver, but make every effort to make the experience a positive one for them.  Pretty soon they will begin to enjoy the routine of their day and stop fighting you on what you've ask them to do.

 
Our "Clean Up Song" from when the girls were little;
Everybody, everywhere, clean-up, clean-up
Everybody in your underwear, clean-up, clean-up
Everybody here and there, clean-up, clean-up


I know, silly, but we liked it!  ;)

Thursday
Nov252010

Hi! Come on in!!

Hi!  Come on in!  Welcome to my blog for Full Time Moms! 

We all want a peaceful, happy home, that's tidy, where there's a warm dinner on the table at 6 o'clock.

Where our kids are happy and respectful, with their homework done, and faces washed.  A place that our husband is happy to come home to.

And in addition to all that we ourselves want to be happy and well rested, and to still feel like "ourselves".

Is this too much to ask?  Some days maybe.  

But over all,
no,
it's not. 

There is no reason your home should look like, and feel like, a war zone. For that matter you shouldn't look like and feel like you've been through a war zone either!

I have just finished spending the last 20 years as a Full Time Mom, and I loved it!  And I want you to love it too!  I want you to feel like your children and husband are getting the best of you. 

If you don't feel that way, let's talk, I'd love to help by telling you about some of the things that worked for us and help you avoid the things that didn't.  Let's make your home a place your family can't wait to get back to at the end of the day, or a place where you and your little ones spend your day happily together.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you,
Shonna






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